


The soccer girl with Tourettes

by wishingtoaworld



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 7,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9178111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishingtoaworld/pseuds/wishingtoaworld
Summary: Tourette syndrome- a neurological disorder that involves repetitive movements or unwanted sounds (tics) that can't be easily controlled.Avalon an amazing soccer player who just got called up to the national team to play. She is a normal girl playing the sport she loves the only difference is that she has Tourettes Syndrome. Avalon is hoping for once in her life she gets noticed for her soccer playing not her disability.





	1. Chapter one

My name is Avalon, yeah I know I sound normal probably look normal also. 5 foot 2 long blonde hair with part of it shaved, ice blue eyes. The only difference is that I twitch make werid motions and make some odd sounds. No I am not broken. Yes I do have Tourette Syndrome.

Tourettes Syndrome-  
A neurological disorder that involves repetitive movements or unwanted sounds (tics) that can't be easily controlled.

And I bet the only thing you have heard about tourettes is that people blurt out random crazy non-sense sexual, racist, and cuss words well I don't I'm not part of that 10% who do. 

Besides from the tourettes I told you I looked normal, but on the inside I am, internally flipping out because I have finally gotten the call I have waiting to get since I was little. I was called up to the national team.

Maybe for once In my life I will get noticed for my soccer skills not for my tourettes.


	2. Chapter two

Airports. Have I ever told you how much I hate airports?

Well it's a lot. I'm talking ALOT.

not only was I ticing more because I am sitting in the airport fixing to meet the whole team. But I was also ticing more because it seems like always the moment I step into the airport something clicks in my brain that's goes "lets be the center of attention."

Of course the moment I am throwing my head back and shaking my head and arm I see Jill walking towards me.

I stand up as Jill comes over smiles a says, " I'm sorry i never got to chance to really email you about everything. I'm happy to have you on the team." 

I give her a warm smile, "im happy that I am able to be part of this team."

Jill looked at me and said "I have messaged the girls and said the will be meeting their new team member here and that we will have a small meeting here. 

-*--*-*

As the last of the girls got there some of them being nice and already introducing themselves, others looking at me blink wildly and throwing my head back.

At the moment Jill stood up and got all the girls attention. 

"I know some of you have already met the new girl, for the others I would like to introduce Avalon."

I stood up awkwardly and shyly waving at everyone trying to suppress my tics. 

As I sat back down I hear Becky say to Jill "I thought we had a short meeting?"

"thank you Becky I almost forgot," said Jill looking at me. 

I looked at the ground wishing we didn't have to have this meeting, but knowing sooner than later we would have to.

As Jill saw me look up she proceeded and said, " like I said before some of you have already met Avalon and seen that she does some awkward stuff with her head arms, blinks alot and sometimes makes some noises." 

She looked around making sure everyone was listening. " Avalon has something called tourettes syndrome which makes her do random movements and make noises without being able to control it."

Then out of no where I hear Megan go "oh dude does that mean she cusses 24/7." 

And with that I was done. I turned stright towards her and said " that is called coprolalia and only about 10% people who have tourettes have that, in which I do not." 

I see everyone shocked to see the midfielder get so quite so fast. 

"if anyone's has any other questions feel free to ask me." I say calmly.

Tobin pipes up and asks " does it interfere with soccer and does it ever get better or worse? "

I look up and smile sweetly at her seeing the curious look on her face. " soccer helps with my tourettes like it makes me focuse so much on one thing my mind doesn't have enough time to think about sending out any other singnal that isn't about soccer. Yes my tics get better sometimes and the usually they tend to get worse when I'm tired, really excited, frustrated or nervous but other times my tics just get worse for no reason."

As I finished that we hear "Flight 565 to London now Borading" 

And with that I prayed and hope this would be a good flight and I got sat next to hopefully tobin.


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey guys I should have put this on an earlier chapter I had this story up here and then took it down for unknown reasons, but I am now re-posting what all I have.

Thank goodness the flight was a later flight because all I did was sleep, because sadly I did not get to sit next to tobin. I was stuck by a man with fried chicken. 

Do you know how hard it was to sleep when all you smell is fried chicken. 

It's hard. 

As we all got our luggage and got onto the bus Jill told us that we were just going to have a light training and then have a team dinner later that night.

~~~

As we pulled into the hotel and got to see who our roommates were for this week. 

As I looked down I saw my roommate was tobin.

"fuck," I muttered to myself.

This was gonna be one long week.


	4. Chapter four

The team accepted me pretty quickly and really didn't care about my tics at all. 

Megan came up to me after we landed in London and apologized to what she said at the airport.

So since then I've mostly have been hanging out with Tobin Kling and Pinoe, but sometimes have talked to Hope and Carli.

All I could say that I've never been so tired mentally and physically. 

Today was by far the worse. 

I woke up with a new tic and it isn't like a little physical one like moving my arm. It was me yelling No (all the vocal tics like the no one will be in bold) every other mintue. 

_______

"No" I yelled is I was walking down the hall to breakfast when Megan came out of her room and looked at me.

"Well you didn't have to be harsh about it," Pinoe said sarcastically. "but really you having a bad morning?" "No!" I yelled. "You wouldn't believe it." "Waking up to that would just be the jolliest thing in the morning." I said as we were waiting for the elevator.

"Have you sent out a group message to tell everyone that if you yell that you arent being rude?" she asked curiously. 

"No" "nope," I said pulling out my phone "but I will do it right now."


	5. Chapter five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Avalon has tourettes in this story, I also have tourettes and so I just wanted to let y'all know that I try to write tics, but sometimes it's hard for me to write them

After I texted Jill and the rest of the team about my new tic me and Pinoe walked into the dining hall. 

"No, no, no!, " I yelled while looking down sheepishly at my shoes. Megan patted me on the back as we walked to get our food. 

As I looked up trying to find a spot to sit at, I see Tobin waving her hands in the air like a mad man. I started laughing as I made my way over to the table.

"Sorry I was not there when you woke up this morning I wanted to go on a run and juggle the ball," Tobin said with a mouth full of oatmeal. "It's cool, but next time seriously dude say it don't spray it. I don't need an oatmeal bath," I said trying to glare at her but failing merserbly.

"No." "So what are y'all doing on y'alls day off," I said looking at Pinoe, Tobin, and kling. 

"Nothing really maybe just hang around the hotel, maybe go swimming in the pool," Tobin said. 

And instantly all I could think about was tobin in a swim suit. 

"Avalon. Avalon. Avalon!" I heard someone scream 

"yeah?" I said jumping coming back to reality. 

"I said," Tobin said looking at me directly at me in my eye. "would you like to hang with us today?"

"No" "yes," I said quickly. Damn tic. "yes I will hang with y'all weirdos today." 

"Okay," Klingenberg said. "Meet in mine and Pinoe room in 20 mintues."

"Okay," I said as all of them got up to go get ready. About that time I hear someone come up to me and whisper,

"I would stop the drooling and the day dreaming about her or she is gonna figure out pretty damn quick about your little crush on her."

As I turn to see who it was. I see Hope walking past me with a sly little smile. And with that I got up to go to Meghan and Megan room.


	6. Chapter six

Today was the last day of camp and honestly I have no clue where I'm going. Where I'm flying to. 

I got kicked out of my house a few years ago and I haven't talked to any of my family.  I've slept on my friends couches, hell I've slept on my teachers couches at points.

I feel Hope was reading my mind because as soon as I got done thinking that she was right next to me questioning me about where I'm going.

"I-I I don't know..." I said slowly looking down. "Aren't you going to see your family?" she tried to push. "Nope haven't talked to them in a couple of years." I said starting to put up my wall. "In that case you are coming with me to my house in Seattle no if, and, or buts," she stated firmly. 

And with that I was off to Seattle.

________

Two weeks into staying at Hopes and she has helped me alot. Well not tonight at least. 

I couldn't stop ticing. I've been ticing non-stop for the last 15 mintues. I've been yelling No, snorting like a pig, shaking my legs and throwing my arms up. 

Hope looked like she wished she could do something but all she could do was look at me with sympathy. 

Luckly about 5 mintues later my tics finally started slowing down. 

"What the hell was that?" Hope asked.   
"A tic attack. I haven't one of those in months." I said.

"Well damn" Hope said. "Well can I ask you about something?" "Sure" I said.

"Why are you homeless? Why don't you talk to your family?" she asked.

"I'm tired. I'm going to bed," I said starting to get up. "No you aren't. You can when you tell me. Now sit your Ass down." Hope said. 

"okay fine you want to fucking know why I am homeless Hope!" I said getting angry now. "Me and my mother have never and will never see eye to eye. I have tourettes the doctors told her, but she never wanted to believe them. She thought I was just a problem child doing all those movements trying to get fucking attention! As I got older she just got madder that I wasn't stopping doing the movements and I just kept getting called an attention whore." 

By this point I started to shake as I tried to hold back tears.

"It's a whole different story about when I came out to her. She was a stick stright up the ass Christian. She thought being gay was a sin and that I was just going to hell. And she also hated that I played soccer. Soccer was the only thing I am good at it, because hell we all know I was shit at school."

By this time I was crying.

"she wanted me to quit soccer, get a job and help support the family until I found a nice man. I told her I was gonna pursuit my dream of soccer and marry a women. She didn't like it and we got into a fight. She hit me and that is when I had it. I left and started sleeping on friends and teachers couches until I got the email from Jill saying I got invited to camp."

By this time Hope had her arms around me trying to calm me down. "You are amazing Avalon. You are an amazing girl that is gonna go far in soccer. Fuck your mom. You are gonna find a perfect women one day and you are gonna marry her." 

I smiled up to her and hugged her.

"let's get you to bed its been a long day," Hope said getting up. 

That night was the first time in a while I was able to trust someone besides myself.


	7. Chapter seven

She loved me, she loved me not, she loved me, she loved me not. These were the only words going through my head as I sat on the hotel bed trying my best not to cry. 

Ever since I told Hope about my mom I feel like everything has started to go down hill.

Tobin would not answer her phone, so I went to my next best resource to figure out why Tobin wasn't answering. 

Alex. 

She was no help because the mintue I asked about tobin she told me she was busy and didn't want anyone to talk to her.

Two hours prior I flipped shit on Hope for no reason at the house. She just asked me this simple question and I just started yelling. I think Hope was happy that Jill was in town and came over and picked me up and brought me here to her hotel for me to cool my shit. 

"So why did you blow up on Hope like that for, "Jill British voice saying all of the sudden.

"I- I really don't know.." I said looking at the ground. "one mintue I am fine and the next after she asked what I wanted for dinner I just started yelling at her for no reason. "

"Are you taking your medication Avalon? " she asked seriously.

When I didn't respond, she asked in a more demanding voice.

"No! I fucking haven't been taken my medication. Can't you just take a fucking chill pill!" I said once again exploding with anger. 

"why? " she asked simply.

"because the make me tired and groggy and like I'm a zombie with low blood pressure." I said laying on my back. 

"have you thought about changing medication again?" she asked. 

"I'm not changing it again, because if I do I will just be put on anti-phycotic medication (there is no one specific medication or treatment for tourettes). And the only reason why I am on the medication in the first place is because If I'm not your job and my job is on the line." I said pointly

"I know you hate it Avalon, but maybe if we get it adjusted it would work better." she said trying to reason with me. 

"No," I said sharply. "Can I just think for a little bit?"

"sure," she said. "I'll be back in 20 mintues to get you and take you back to Hope." 

And with that she left me in the hotel room once again.

As she left all of a sudden I just started to hear my brain go "do it, do it, do it." I haven't done it in years. I slowly getting up looking around for the supplies I need hoping maybe everything will be okay. 

As I find what I am looking for, the door opens...


	8. Chapter eight

As she left all of a sudden I just started to hear my brain go "do it, do it, do it." I haven't done it in years. I slowly getting up looking around for the supplies I need hoping maybe everything will be okay. 

As I find what I am looking for, the door opens...

_____

"Don't you dare Avalon. Put it down now," I hear a voice say as I stop in my tracks.

"I can't," I said whispering. 

"why not" the person said coming closer. 

"because you don't get all those stares, you don't get all those snickers, you don't fucking get all those whispers!" I said staring stright ahead. "You don't get judge everytime I fling my arms or snap my head or even blink fast. You don't understand what it is like to have tourettes and you never will." 

I started breaking down, collapsing onto the ground into the fetal position.

"Shh you are okay," I hear them say, slowly picking me up. 

I looked up "Tobin," I said curiously. "what are you doing here?" 

"Hope and Jill both called me saying that you were having a hard time and since I was in town I said I would come here and see you, but when I walked in I saw you trying to kill yourself." she explained. 

"I'm sorry," I said 

"it's okay," she said. "But why didn't you come to me? I could have helped you Avalon."

"Because I have always had to do for myself and never ask for help. I was scared to ask for help. I was scared because I haven't had this bad of tics in YEARS," I said catching my breath. "I didn't want to take my medication because it makes it so hard to play soccer, so I stopped and I didn't tell anyone until Jill today. I didn't even tell Hope."

"Why don't we get you cleaned up a little bit and then we can walk back to Hope's house and me and you hang out with each other for awhile," Tobin said smiling that amazing smile.

"yeah," I said slowly getting up.


	9. Tourettes facts!

So alot of people don't know what tourettes is so here are some facts.

Simple motor tics - eye blinking, jaw clenching, spitting, shoulder shrugging, head jerking

Simple vocal tics - (sounds that don't form words) throat clearing, grunting, coughing, sniffling

Complex motor tics - touching other people or things,  banging your head,  bending over and touching the floor, obsence movements or gestures. 

Complex vocial tics - repeating words, sounds or phrases (echolalia or Palilalia) , using obsence, socially unacceptable language (coprolalia) 

Echolalia - meaningless repetition of someone else's words or phrases 

Palilalia - a speech disorder characterized by involuntary repetition of words, or phrases.

Coprolalia - involuntary and repetitive use of obesene and/or socially unacceptable language. 

To be classified with tourettes or TS you must be under the age of 18 must have 2 motor tics and one vocal tics for at least 1 year. 

The ratio of boys to girls who have Tourettes is 5:1

That is all I can think of at the moment I may continue to add to this list.

I hope this helps people understand tourette syndrome a little more.


	10. Chapter nine

Tobin stayed that night just to watch over me and to make sure that I was okay. 

That next day we did not have practice so for me it was my lazy day.

As I walked down stairs jerking my neck and seeing who was up I saw Tobin in a ball on the couch. When I got to Tobin I grabbed the nearest blanket and put it on her watching her snuggle into it. 

I made a mental note to yell at Hope for not making sure Tobin had a blanket. 

As I got to the kitchen I started making coffee and 10 mintues later Hope came in looking at me like she wanted to say something to me. 

"Just spit it out Solo," I said.

"first don't call me Solo kid, and secondly Jill is coming over to talk to you today." she said to me.

"I'm not talking to her," I said strongly.

In the middle of me and Hope talking Tobin slowly walks in trying to figure out what she missed. 

"You are talking to her Avalon she is your coach," Hope stated her voice slowly raising. 

"No. I'm. Not." I said firmly. "I have nothing to say to her. All she is going to do is get me on my fucking meds!" 

"You know if you don't take them they will not let you play," Hope said trying to make me understand. 

"They don't work. NO! All the do is make me feel like a zombie, and make me tired, and make slow," I said. "I'm not taking to her I may talk to her next time but not today." 

By this time I was annoyed and getting frustrated and so I got my keys and walked out. 

_____

I got out my phone and texted someone. 

Me: Hey Abby can I come over for a bit and don't tell Tobin nor Hope where I am. 

Abby: Sure but you are explaining to me what the hell is going on. 

I met Abby at the first national camp when she came to visit everyone and me and her kinda just clicked and ended up a double whammy when I found out she lived a couple of blocks from Hope. 

_____

I knocked on Abby's door. As I was snapping in my groups of four Abby finally opens up the door.

"Sorry grandma didn't know it would take you this long to get the door or I would have just let myself in," I said laughing 

"Haha very funny," she said smirking. "now get your ass inside before I make you do sprints up and down the street."

"You wouldn't do that you love me to much," I said.

"I may love ya but I'll still make ya," she said as she walked through the door and I followed. 

As I walked through Abby's house I stopped in her kitchen and got me a drink before going into her living room. 

"So spill your damn guts about why I shouldn't tell Hope and Toby why you are here," Abby said sitting down and getting right to the point.

No! "well because I'm not really mad at Tobin but the mintue she finds out where I am she'll tell Hope," I said.

"Well why are you here?  You still haven't answered my question."

"Because I'm mad at hope, I'm mad at Jill and Tobin confuses me." I said. "Jill is mad because I refuse to take my meds and if I don't take my meds and I play both me and Jill will  get into trouble. And Hope wants me to talk to Jill, even though I don't want to. And Tobin lord Tobin." 

I took a breath and started again. "Tobin found me the other night when I ended up at Jill's hotel room for getting pissed at Hope. I asked Jill to give me some space for a little and then my mind exploded, and went crazy and as soon as I was fixing to cut my wrist, and take a couple of pills Tobin came in and talked to me." 

"Damn," is all Abby could say to me.

"yeah.. " I said.

Rolling my eyes and blinking fast I could make out Abby and her thinking face. 

"what are you thinking about?" I said to Abby.

"To be quite honest I don't know," she said "But I am going to text Jill, Hope and Tobin and say that you are with me and you are safe and not to bother you or me for the rest of the day. Today us two are just going to hang out with no distractions. Just me, you and Law and Order SVU. " she said smiling.

"you got a deal"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do y'all think tobin and Avalon should get together?


	11. Chapter ten

All I could think about was Avalon. How bad I was falling for her. Yes I know she is 18 and I'm 23, (Yes I'm aware tobin isn't 23 just go along with it.) but I care about her so much. Since the airport she has intrigued me. Of course the girls haven't been able to let me live it down. I get at least a dozen text from Megan PER A DAY saying "have you done it yet? Have you told her that you have fallen hopelessly in love with her?"

I just really hoped that Avalon was not mad at me. 

As I was sitting in deep though my phone suddenly dinged.  
Abbitos- hey guys Avalon is safe with me. I've talked with her and I will bring her back later tonight. Don't try to contact me or her for the rest of the day. We are having a day to ourselfs. Just remember guys sometimes you have to put yourself in someone else's shoes and see it from a different perspective.

_____

Hope Pov

I read the text over and over. Maybe Abby had a point maybe me and Jill were just thinking about is and not about how the medicine was really affecting her.

I texted Jill and asked her to come over so I could to talk to her. About fifteen minutes later she was knocking at my door. 

"Hello Hope. You wanted to speak to me?"

I moved out of the door way to let Jill in and then went into the kitchen and sat down. "Yeah, and thanks for coming over. Did you get the text from Abby? "yeah.." she trailed off.  "Is this about the text Hope?"

"Yes." I said stright forward. "in the text Abby said sometimes you have to put yourself in other people's shoes and see the problem through a diffrent perspective. We have just been seeing it through our perspective Jill. We don't know what that medicine actually makes her feel like. I know I would just want to play soccer at the highest level. I would not want to play in the highest level with medication that made me feel like I was a walking zombie."

I looked at Jill seeing she was processing what I just said. 

She looked up at me started, "I will talk to Dawn and see if she can help me with any of this with Avalon. We can try her without the meds and see how she does." 

"Thank you Jill," I said smiling at her. 

We talked a little more until she had to leave. After she left I just sat and thought about Avalon. I just really hope I can fix all of this with her, and things can start going back to normal.


	12. Chapter eleven

"Damn who-who-who the hell w-w-would try to rape a f-f-fucking chick who he thought was dead!" I said disgusted. 

"You're telling me," Abby said while fake gagging.

Me and Abby had been watching Law and Order SVU all day because I guess you could say I am obsessed with the show. 

Slowly through out the day my repetion of words and phrases have slowly gotten worse, but this is the most relaxed I've been in weeks.

Abby looks at her phone and sighs, "Avalon it's getting late we have to get you home."

" no no no, this was my my my favorite day day s-s-so far. I love hanging w-w-with you Abby."

"I know squirt, but I promised everyone I would get you home tonight, and it wouldn't look very good if I didn't get you home tonight."

"Finee.."

Me and Abby finished watching the episode and slowly got ready to go. As we got into the car my leg started bouncing up and down like crazy. 

"Calm down girl"

"what if Everyone is mad at me?  What is Hope doesn't let me i-i-in her home home o-o-or if Jill doesn't let me play?"

"Alvon listen to me. Everyone loves you. Especially Hope. She loves you so much, I've never seen her take someone in like she has with you. And Jill you remind her of her own daughter, she will let you play you just need to talk with her, and get everything sorted out. And Tobin lord the way she looks at you, she loves you."

I looked up at Abby and just watched her driving. 

We pulled up to Hope appartment.

"You coming in Abby?"

"Nah, I have something to do"

"okay" I leaned in a gave Abby a huge hug. "Thank you for today"

"Anytime Squirt. Now be good"

"okay I will."

I got out of the car and went into the apartment to see who all was waiting.


	13. Chapter twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that I have written at the moment :)

After I got home Hope apologized and told me that someone told her something that changed her perspective on the whole situation.

After me and Hope talked, me and Tobin started hanging out a little more and getting to know Eachother more.

But that is besides the point at the moment. I agreed to talk to Jill today. We both have had a few days to calm down, and we have agreed to sit down and talk about everything at IHOP so it was public and neither of us could do something we regret.

_____

As I walked into IHOP I saw Jill sitting in a both at the back. I slowly walk up to her and sit down. 

We ordered and that is when she started to speak. 

"I'm sorry about me yelling at you about your medication. I should have been more professional but I was not at all."

"it -"

"Let me finish."

I decided to shut up and listen to her. 

"the only reason why I was pushing for the medication is because I know how good of a player you are. You are a secret weapon to this team. No other team knows how good of a player you are, nor are they capable of what you can do. I have talked to Dawn and everybody else, we have agreed to let you play without your medication and see what happens."

I looked at Jill astonished. I came here thinking that Jill was going to push me to be on my medication or she was going to kick me off the team. Instead she is letting me staying on the team and letting me do it without my medication. 

"Thank you Jill. You have no idea how happy with what you just told me. Being on this team has made me come out of my shell so much and has made me a better person. I just want to say thank you Jill. Thank for giving the girl with Tourettes an opportunity to do something she loves."

All of a sudden I am wrapped up in the British women's arms. 

"I saw a girl who loved to play soccer and I took a chance." That is all she said as the food came.

_____

As I got back to Hope's house I saw more than her car sitting in the drive way. 

I walked slowly into the house uncertain of who was all here.

The fist person I saw was Ashlyn. She didn't see me so it was the perfect opportunity.

I started at the door a full speed. 

"ASHY IM HOME!!" I screamed at her as I jumped on her back. 

"omph," Ashlyn grunted. "I had no clue you had that much power on you child."

"No! Well you can always be surprised."

As I got off her back I saw she was the only one her. And that was unusual for her because she always had at least one other person with her.

"Hey Ashlyn I do not mean to be rude, but, why the hell are you here alone. Because you are always here with at least on other person."

"Language!" Hope yelled. 

Ashlyn looked at me with an amused look. "Well I am here for you. I heard you got into it with Jill, and Hope and had a mishap in Jill's hotel room. Even though you and Jill and everyone got it all sorted out, I am taking you on a little trip to Flordia for a week."

I looked at her like she was crazy. No way in hell I am going to Florida for a week. 

"No! No! I am not going with you Ashlyn! You can not make me go!"

"This is not up for discussion! So go up stairs now and get your stuff for a week and be down here in 10 mintues. " Ashlyn said sternly. 

"Oh and you do not need any electronics." 

This was going to be the worst fucking week of my life.


	14. Chapter thirteen

I complained the whole way to the airport, to Ashlyn about how it wasn't fair that I had to go with her for a whole week to Florida against my will. 

I think Ashlyn finally got fed up with me because she turned towards me in the Jeep we rented and went, "If you don't wanna go then don't. Get out of this car right now, and walk back to Hope's house right now. Just tell me and I'll pull over."

Let's just say I did shut up because I may be an athlete, but hell I was not going to walk that far.

_____

Honestly going to Flordia may have been the greatest thing that has happened in awhile.

Me and Ashlyn have gotten really close, I've learned to surf, and my tics have t been as bad. 

It was our last night in Flordia, before we go back to Seattle and honestly I was sad. Seattle is this fast pace city, and this tiny town in Flordia was quiet and peaceful. 

Me and Ashlyn were sitting on our surfboards in the water watching the sun set. 

"You Happy I draged you out here?" Ashlyn asked me as I was staring off into the water. 

"Yes. This is honestly what I needed. This has been the clearest my mind has been in months." I said slowly laying back on my surfboard. 

"what do you mean?" she asked curiously. "Ashlyn my mind, it never shuts down. I always will have a million things running through my mind, a million miles a minute. It irritates me, because I can never concentrate on one thing at a time. I'm doing something, and thinking about all the reasons and ways it could go wrong, and also thinking what I have to do later that night."

"If your mind never slows down, then why were you on medicine?"

"It was suppose to help with my tics so I didn't tic as much, and they were also hoping it would help slow my mind down."

"So this week has really helped you?"

"Yes. I have got to do things without worrying about things, and it is so relaxing."

"Then for this last minute don't worry about anything." 

I looked at her, and before I could process what she was saying, her lips were on mine. We slowly kissed, her tounge sweeping my bottom lip, asking for entrance, I parted my lips and allowed her tounge to explore my mouth.

We slowly broke apart, and the first thing I thought was, "what the fuck just happened."


	15. Chapter fourteen

Me and Ashlyn have talked non stop since that kissed, but never once spoken about the kiss in the ocean. Hope, I think saw a changes in my tics, and adittude. 

I was so much happier when I was around Ashlyn and talking with her. 

One day me and Ashlyn, were hanging out, cuddling on the couch, when Tobin came in saw us, and then just turned around, and walked back out.

Oh fuck I forgot about Tobin! 

How could I do this. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I have no clue what I am going to do. 

I stood up, and told Ashlyn I was going for a walk, and then I was gone. 

_____

I walked out into the hallway when I'm pushed into the wall. 

"What the fuck," I said. I looked up and saw Tobin pinning me against the wall. Then all of a sudden, she crushed her lips on me, and my head started spinning. 

I started kissing her, back and then I just pushed her away. "Tobin I can't do this right now I need to think." with that I was running down the hallway. 

_____

I ran all the way to the one house I knew that would help me. I started knocking over, and over, and over. Finally she answered. "wha-" "Ashlyn and Tobin both kissed me!" "get the fuck inside," she said as she pushed me inside. 

"So tell me from the beginning why the fuck they have kissed you," Abby said.

"Okay well I got forced into going to Florida with Ashlyn for a week, and we were sitting in the ocean on our surfboards have a little heart to heart moment, and she said "just forget for this moment," and the next thing I know we are kissing."

"okay so where does Tobin kissing you come into play at?" Abby asked curiously.

"Hold your horses I'm getting there. I was cuddling with Ashlyn watching TV when Tobin walked in and guess she saw us and made a bee line for the exit. By this time my head was going crazy because I forgot, all about Tobin. I needed to clear my mind so I was going to come over here. I went into the hallway, when all of a sudden I was pinned to the wall, I was scared for a moment, and then I saw Tobin, and I said "what the fuck," and then her lips were on mine, and I was kissing her back, and then I pushed her away, and ran here. Now I have no clue who to pick or what to do."

Abby looked at me trying to figure out what to say. "You have to pick one."

"I know that Abby thank you. But which one do I choose?"

"Choose the one that makes you forget everything, makes you feel like a better person, and lastly makes you the happiest, because out of everyone you deserve so much happiness."

"Thank you Abby." With that I was out the door, to go clear my mind, and figure out which one I was gonna pick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which one should Avalon pick Ashlyn or Tobin? Comment which one you want her to be with.


	16. Chapter fifteen

I looked at one wrist and then the other and I looked at my hand that held the the item that ruins people's lives. I slowly slide it across over, and over, and over again. I did it until my wrist were numb.

I watched the blood drip down my wrist as I thought about who I wanted to pick. Thought after thought just came rushing in my head and I just wish it would stop!  

All I could do was lay down in the floor and cry. 

_____

Abby Pov 

Avalon had been in the bathroom for a long time so I decided to go and check on her. I knocked on the bathroom door and I had no response. 

I decided to try again "Avalon are you okay?" Once again I had no answer. I knew something was wrong. "I'm coming in." I yelled as I picked the lock. When I walked in I was horrified at the sight I saw. 

She was lying on the tile crying while blood dripped from her arms. "Oh goodness" is all I could say to myself.

_____

Avalon Pov

The next thing I knew I was wrapped in Abby's big arms. Wait how did she even get in here. 

She sat me up and got a first aid kit, and started cleaning my cuts. I slowly started to calm down, when she finally  looked at me. "Are you going to explain to me why I had to pick my lock on my bathroom floor to find you crying, and bleeding?"

I didn't say a word.

"God dammit Avalon are you going to say anything or just sit there!"

"Because I choose Ashlyn and I can't bring myself to tell Tobin! Because I can't be the one to break Tobin's heart. I cant look her in the eye and tell her that I see her more as a sister and a friend than a lover. I can't tell her Ashlyn makes me feel something. Something I haven't felt in years. I can't tell her Ashlyn makes me feel so happy inside that all I can do is think about the keeper, and that I enjoyed that kiss in flordia."

"You have to tell her." she said as she wrapped gauze around my wrist. 

"Why so you can scream at me and leave me like everyone else?"

She looked at me like she had been slapped. "Listen to me and listen to me good. I know so many people care for you. I know your mom was a shit face mother and I'm sorry for that, but you have so many people who love you and support you here. You have Ashlyn, Jill, Hope, me, and even Tobin. We all love you. Sometimes you have to go with your gut, and sometimes people may get hurt but if they really love you they will always come back. I know Tobin really liked you and I know when you tell her that you want to be with Ashlyn she is going to be hurt,but if she is your true friend then she will come back."

All I could do was hug her. For some odd reason she always knew what someone needed to here. "I'm not done yet." she said looking at me. "You need to stop doing this." pointing at my wrist. "Your better than this. I know you are and we will help you."

"thank you." I said looking down. "Anytime. Now you need to go tell Ashlyn that you want to be with her and then tell Tobin that you chose Ashlyn."

"I will."


	17. Chapter sixteen

I slowly left Abby's house and began my journey to the next persons house. I needed to tell her. 

I walked for 15 mintues until I landed at the front door. I slowly reached my hand up and knocked. Not even a mintue later she opened the door. 

"Come in" she said smiling at me. As I walked in I looked around and saw all the photos with her and her friends in them. "Na your house is nice Na." I said looking back at her. 

"Thanks I've tried to make it less empty, but I know that isn't the reason your here. So are you going to tell me why you are here?"

I-I I know you so well. Na you took me under your wing when Megan said that stuff to me. Na na Na, I found out how much y-y you like me that day you kissed me. I-I I love you so much, but I see you Na more as a friend and a sister na than someone I could date." 

All she did was look at me shocked. "So you're telling me that kiss meant nothing to you! All that flirting you did meant nothing also. You never felt a thing for me!

I started crying by this point. "No, I mean at the beginning I did, and then Na I was forced to go to Florida with Ashlyn because of everything that happened. No nothing happened until the very last night. I promise you! Na na it happened after we got done surfing. When we kissed and when I talk to her she made me feeling like something I haven't had in forever." 

"Get out of my house!" she screamed.

"Please just listen to me!" I begged. 

"No listen to me! I trusted you! I trusted you so much and then I finally get ready to tell you how I feel and I see you all cuddled up next to Ashlyn and then I kiss you! And now you just want to go and fuck Ashlyn!" by this point she is red in the face. "All you are is a stupid twitchy bitch that has mommy issues! 

All of a sudden she stopped. "I-I I'm sorry didn't mean.."

"You meant exactly what you said." I said as I walked out the door.

I walked around aimlessly until I reached Ashlyns house. I knocked at her door. Finally she answered. 

"I'm glad your here. Maybe you can help me understand this text I just received from Tobin." she said looking confused as she stepped aside to let me in. 

"what did the text say?" I asked figuring out how bad it could be. 

"have fun with your fuck buddy I hope your happy." she said looking up from her phone. 

"It's because Na I just came from her house, and she wasn't happy about what I told her."  Ashlyn looked over at me with a 'please continue' look. "I told her I picked you Ashlyn. I told her how much happier you make me feel. When I'm around you everything seems right. My tics aren't as bad, my mind slows down a tad. It feels amazing. She didn't like my answer and started yelling at me and ended up saying I was a stupid twitchy bitch that has mommy issues and that is when I left." 

I looked up at her, and saw the shocked expression on her face. "She really said that?" 

"Yep, but it doesn't matter. Hopefully you'll say yes to this question."

"Okay?" she said confused.

"Ashlyn when I'm with you I feel amazing, and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?"

"Yeah Avalon I will be your girlfriend. Since that day at the beach I have fallen for you. You make me happy in ways I don't understand."

The next thing I know her arms are around my waist and she is pulling me in to kiss. 

We pull apart slowly. "Can you please drive me back to Hope's it's almost midnight and I can't be late for curfew." 

"Sure" she said.

As we got into the car she grabbed my hand, and for once I could finally breath. "Maybe everything will be okay.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was a pretty crappy chapter.


End file.
